There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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