I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
