If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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