just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
