you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
