Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
