sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
