i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
