I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
