Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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