i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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