trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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