Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
