i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
