now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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