well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
