there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
