absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
