Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
