You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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