break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
