sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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