let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
and you fell through a lawn chair
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
