I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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