True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
