No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
