he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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