I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
