Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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