Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
