1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
