He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
