you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
