i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
