did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
