I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
