I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
