i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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