just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
