walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found your dick twin last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
