I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
