Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
