I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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