Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
