so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
