my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sorry about my life...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I came so hard my ears popped.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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