I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That was before I lit my hair on fire
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
