he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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