Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
