Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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